A selfish seeker

Whilst her heart could beat for my life
Quaint love would drench me, it's an early freak
Without her, sometimes with her, it’s been strife
To land no where but end up with creak
Although arose there her lust to relinquish
Rather in deed derived to be deprived
Smelled she even asleep, and had to languish
Stories of her life not to get her depraved
Why did I have her to seek my fortune?
Her love haunt my solitude and keep me restrained
Inside me, hasn't she grown beyond her notion?
By her love, bewildered, bothered, and blazed
Had I ever been to her for me never for her
Her self wasn't there for her, but I seek her ever