A world-weary optimist

I spy not on my but the high sky
dreams, and I die never before I try
I cry for a smile but the style why
seems to be a solitary stand by
I look back into the heart of my
aims, realize now its hard to satisfy
I fuck myself up in a stylish fly
but it drains my mind and I draff to play

I get into my time and try to trace its lane
to kill the kiss of death, but it rains in vain
I wet my hand and try to touch the pain
to heal my scars but I'm blazed again
I close my eyes to read my mind, it's insane
the song of life couldn't reach me, never I gain
I lose my legs and limp somehow to heaven
real feelings ruined me down, I myself a bane.

I try change my future to keep my grieves aside
past repeats again, I'm killed by myself inside
I start to run to raise my breath, shadow moves beside
to distract my coercive spirit and I gradually subside
I don't count the last days of my life, and I hide
all my past life behind sanguinary struggle for a sacred ride
I'm the serene soul seeking an ascetic life, I stride
the life as an omnipotent and disappear into infinite void